


Uncles

by Rumpeltyltskyn



Series: Roach Adventures [1]
Category: z nation
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Companion Piece, Found Family, Humor, M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-10-20 17:04:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17626190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rumpeltyltskyn/pseuds/Rumpeltyltskyn
Summary: Wonder what mischief Sketchy and Skeezy get into while Roach isn’t around?A collection of companion pieces that go along with various chapters of Con-Roach.





	1. Newlyweds

**Author's Note:**

  * For [autistic_zombie_boy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/autistic_zombie_boy/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Con-Roach](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16561649) by [autistic_zombie_boy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/autistic_zombie_boy/pseuds/autistic_zombie_boy), [Rumpeltyltskyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rumpeltyltskyn/pseuds/Rumpeltyltskyn). 



> A companion piece for Chapter 8 of Con-Roach that follows Sketchy and Skeezy while Roach is off exploring the honeymoon resort.

Sketchy gave a slightly-stunned Roach a small shove out the door, quickly closing it behind him. A beat passed and they could hear Roach pound on the other side of the door. 

“Hey! If ya’ll just wanted to hook up, ya coulda just said so!” he shouted, and it was quickly followed by the sound of him running down the hall. Sketchy smirked and Skeezy let out an embarrassed laugh. Sliding off his suit jacket, Sketchy tossed it on the nearby couch. 

He stepped over to the open side of the heart-shaped bed, flopping down on the mattress beside Skeezy and propping himself up on his side to look at him. “I guess we can’t really blame the kid for making that assumption,” he said, grinning down at his blushing partner. 

“Well, it would look a little weird if he did stay in here the whole time,” Skeezy agreed with a shrug. He snickered. “But now he definitely thinks we’re fucking,” he added. 

“I mean, if we’re gunna do the time...” Sketchy started, trailing off to end with a wink. Skeezy’s smile widened slowly, stretching ear-to-ear. He reached up to grab Sketchy’s shirt, suddenly pulling him down into a hungry kiss.

Sketchy pulled away after a moment, laughing. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” he said before pressing back into his partner’s lips, beginning to fumble with the buttons of Skeezy’s shirt. 

—-

The knock on the door was startling, sending the two men tumbling off the bed in a tangle of limbs and blankets. Sketchy scrambled to his feet, snatching his pants from where they had been tossed to the side on the floor, pulling them on hurriedly as he made his way to the door.

“I swear, Cockroach, can’t you take a- oh-“ he started as he pulled the door open, cutting himself off as he saw a somewhat frail-looking older woman standing there. “My apologies, ma’am,” he started in a warm tone.

The woman looked quickly over his shoulder, and he followed her gaze to where Skeezy was ducked down behind the bed, frantically dressing. “Oh, no, I’m sorry for interrupting,” she replied sweetly. “I’m Olive Milner,” she introduced. “You must be, Mister...” she said, checking the clipboard she was carrying. 

“Conroy, Quentin Conroy,” he responded silkily, reaching out to shake her hand. Skeezy scurried up behind him, messily dressed, and reached around his partner to take her hand as well. “And my beloved groom, Vernon,” Sketchy added. 

The woman smiled and nodded. “I’m the operator of the resort and I just wanted to invite you two to dinner, we love to get to know all our guests while they’re here,” she said with a bright, inviting smile.

“Oh, of course, we would be honored to join you,” Sketchy replied, a bit of a lilt to his voice as he placed a hand over his heart. “Allow us a few minutes to get ourselves together and we’ll be down shortly,” he said. “And thank you, Mrs. Milner, for allowing us to spend our honeymoon I your truly breathtaking establishment.” With that, he took her hand once more and lifted it to press a kiss to her knuckles. 

“Oh, no, thank you, Mr. Conroy,” she said. “We look forward to seeing you.” She took her hand back and started back down the hall, Sketchy closing the door after her.

—-

“Ah, the Conroys! I’m glad you could make it!” Olive greeted them as they entered the dining room. A few other couples were scattered about the tables set around the area. The old woman waved them over to her table, where she sat with another woman quite a bit younger than her.

Sketchy and Skeezy approached, offering warm greetings. 

Olive looked to the woman beside her. “I’d like to introduce you nice gentlemen to my granddaughter, Jessica. She helps me run the resort, for which I’m forever grateful. It’s a lot for a woman of my age to handle on my own,” she introduced.

Sketchy looked her over for a moment. She seemed to be in her late twenties, maybe early thirties. Very pretty, dark wavy hair pulled back in a bun, with masterfully done makeup for the circumstances. She was dressed up very nice, just like everyone else in the place, but the scars above her brow and on her top lip marked her as hardened as any other apocalypse survivor.

“An absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss,” he said, taking a slight bow to the woman before seating himself beside Skeezy.

Jessica nodded to the two of them. “Nice to meet you,” she said.

Skeezy took in the room around them, looking rather impressed, letting out a whistle. “This place sure is fancy, not the kind of thing you see a lot these days,” he commented.

“A little luxury is important in these times, I think,” Olive said, “especially for those who manage to find love in the middle of all of it, despite everything the world throws our way,” she explained. “Don’t you think, Mr. Conroy?”

A somewhat sharp kick from under the table pulled Sketchy’s attention from where he’d been watching Jessica carefully as she sipped from her glass of water. “Oh, yes, of course. Love is the only thing that keeps us alive these days,” he agreed, nodding somberly.

Olive smiled at his words. “After I lost my dear husband after fifty long years together, I knew it would take sacrifice to keep love alive in this world,” she said fondly. “So Jessica and I set this place up to, offer some rest and comfort to those who had what my Westley and I had.”

“Your husband was clearly a very lucky man,” Skeezy assured her, leaning forward in his chair. 

Patting his hand maternally, Olive beamed. “Thank you, Vernon, you’re a sweet boy.”

Sketchy flashed a grin Jessica’s way. “Do you have someone lucky enough to share the apocalypse with you?” he asked, only slightly aware of Skeezy staring daggers into the side of his face. 

Jessica smiled, but it didn’t quite meet her eyes. “Unfortunately, most of my time is spent managing the resort. I don’t have much time for my own love-story,” she said.

Sketchy clicked his tongue and shook his head. “How dreadfully unfortunate. Someone as beautiful and intelligent and kind-hearted as yourself, well, it’s simply a shame,” he lilted, before receiving another swift kick under the table. This time, he returned it, turning to meet Skeezy’s frustrated stare. 

Jessica seemed to notice, her practiced smile turning a bit awkward. She turned to Olive. “Nana, don’t we need to check in with the cooks before they serve dinner?” she asked pointedly, placing her hand on her grandmother’s shoulder.

“Ah, yes, Jessie, you’re right,” she said, nodding as she pushed herself to her feet.

Jessica looked to the both of them as she stood. “Your food will be out shortly,” she said. 

Skeezy eyed her with barely withheld disdain. “No menu?” he asked with a teasing quality that didn’t quite match his expression.

“Unfortunately our food options are limited here,” she informed. “Today we are offering fresh vegetable and fish we grow in our courtyard.”

Sketchy patted Skeezy’s hand, but he pulled it away slightly. “I’m sure it will be delicious, of course,” he said, flashing another smile before Jessica and Olive turned and started walking towards the doors.

With Skeezy’s glare still burning into him, Sketchy finally looked back to him with an eyebrow raised. “What?”

Skeezy frowned. “You were flirting with that woman,” he said, keeping his voice low.

A small smirk crossed Sketchy’s lips and he shrugged. “And?”

“And?” Skeezy repeated in disbelief. “AND we’re supposed to be married! And you were flirting with her right in front of me,” he explained through gritted teeth, eyes flicking around to make sure no one was with earshot. 

“But we’re not actually married,” Sketchy reminded, sounding slightly amused.

“Yeah, well, they don’t know that,” Skeezy said, gesturing in a circle around the room with his finger. “How am I supposed to act when my husband is flirting with someone else at our table?” he demanded.

Something mischievous twinkled in Sketchy’s eyes and he leaned forward until he was in Skeezy’s space. “You’re jealous, Vernon?” he asked, sliding his hand up Skeezy’s arm.

Skeezy looked away for a second, growing visibly flustered. “I am no-“ he started, but the words caught in his throat when Sketchy moved his hand to his knee. “You’re going to blow our cover,” he said, voice tight. 

“You’re right,” Sketchy agreed, grinning as he moved his hand up his partner’s thigh. “I’ll be more careful. From here-on-out, you’ve got my full attention,” he promised. He leaned in further until his lips were a breath from his ear and Skeezy swallowed. “So, let me tell you about my plans for after dinner...”


	2. Responsibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if something happens to Sketchy and Skeezy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably set between chapters 8 and 9 of Con-Roach

Sketchy and Skeezy sat of to the side beside a tall, brick building. The property was surrounded by a short stone wall, and the small team had stopped to take a short break before they continued on. The partners sat up on the wall, sharing a canteen of water between them while Roach tagged the side of the building. He wasn’t quite half-way done, but it looked an awful lot like two zombies getting married.

“Lookin’ good, kid,” Sketchy called out with a grin, getting a thumbs-up from the teen in acknowledgment. 

There was a beat of silence as Skeezy took a swig of water, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. “Hey, Sketch, I’ve been thinkin’-“

“Ooh, that’s never good,” Sketchy interrupted, smirking. Skeezy swatted him in the arm.

“I’m serious,” he said, voice low enough that Roach probably couldn’t hear over the music from his newly-charged iPod. “You got awfully close to eating a bullet from one of the guards back at that ‘resort’,” he said. “And I was about an inch from getting a bite outta me by a Z.”

Sketchy shrugged. “Nothing we haven’t dodged before,” he responded pointedly. 

“Yes, I know, but,” Skeezy said, glancing back towards Roach for a second and shifting. “He’s... our responsibility now, right? People get killed all the time and, well, what if something happened to us?”

Sketchy frowned at that line of thinking. “He’s a pretty resourceful kid,” he said. “Certainly has no trouble killing Zs. He survived something like four years before he met us,” he added.

“Yeah, but you heard all his stories,” Skeezy said, “He had a group before. When we ran into him by himself, he was practically half-dead.” When Sketchy remained silent, he continued. “All I’m saying is, we should at least do our best to make sure if something happened to one or both of us... at least the kid would have a fighting chance, y’know?”

Sketchy scratched his beard thoughtfully, nodding along to Skeezy’s words. “You got a point there, Vernon. And it’s been tough to run cons with an amateur backing us up,” he agreed. “He’s definitely got promise, he can be one hell of a liar when he has to be. We could definitely teach him how to handle himself on a con.”

Skeezy beamed at the idea, laughing excitedly. “Yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about!” he said. “He needs a way to provide for himself, just in case.”

Sketchy grinned. “Won’t hurt having a bit of help with our plans, either.”


	3. A Whole Lot, That’s How Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why exactly did Sketchy and Skeezy go looking for Roach in Chapter 11?

Sketchy pushed his way into the house, dropping his bag of supplies onto the counter in the kitchen.

“Hey, kid, you back yet?” he called, but heard nothing except Skeezy closing the door behind him. 

Skeezy looked around, setting his supplies besides Sketchy’s. “Guess not,” he commented, rummaging through the pack and emptying their finds out on the counter. He pulled a once colorful box that was now dull and worn at the corners. “I hope he gets back soon, I think he’s gunna like these,” he said, giving the fireworks in the box a slight shake. 

“Probably a bit too much,” Sketchy said with a laugh. “We’re probably going to have a hard time making them last ‘til the con.”

Skeezy snickered, setting them off to the side. “I wonder why he’s late,” he said.

Sketchy shrugged. “Can be easy to lose track of time, Roach doesn’t exactly have a watch,” he suggested.

“Maybe we should get him one,” Skeezy suggested off-handedly, inspecting a large jar of vaguely yellowish powder that could pass for silver iodine if you didn’t know what you were looking at. I’m actuality it was very, very expired flour of some kind, but no one else needed to know that. 

“Working ones are pretty hard to come by,” Sketchy said, leaning against the kitchen island. Skeezy just bobbed his head slightly in a nod. 

A few moments passed in silence before Skeezy’s eyes flicked back to the door. “I wonder what’s keeping him. You don’t think he ran into any trouble, do you?” he asked, just a hint of worry working its way onto his face. 

“He’s only been out an hour or two,” Sketchy said nonchalantly, “how much trouble could he get into?” He glanced over at his partner who met his eyes, and something wordless seemed to pass between them.

They both made a break for the door.


End file.
